July 17, 2014

Sometimes I write drunk and revise sober, and sometimes I write sober and revise drunk.But you have to have both elements in creation — the Apollonian and the Dionysian, or spontaneity and restraint, emotion and discipline.” – Peter De Vries in “Reuben, Reuben” P. 242 -1964.

There are two Police Academies in the State of Telengana, viz. SVP National Police Academy, and the Andhra Pradesh Police Academy ( APPA ). The Police Academies are autonomous government agencies functioning on an allocated budget either under the stewardship of the State (APPA) or the Central Government (SVPNPA).

For any civil servant affiliated with the State’s criminal justice system, a certification from the State Police Academy is not merely a “feather in the cap”, but a ticket to reaching greater heights in their career.

Aside from the Academies’ primary function, viz. to train selected cadets and qualify them to function as entry-level police officers, it also provides vital continuing education by scheduling a variety of specialized, residential as well as non-residential training courses to keep staff abreast of developments and policy/procedure changes.

These short-term courses range anywhere from less than a month to several months in duration; their curricula being “tailor made” to suit the functional discipline of whichever State department that happens to enroll in the staff development course.

Here’s how the scam selection process works:

Appropriate notification is published informing prospects of the proposed course, synopsis of its curriculum, and required qualifications of applicants.

Applications are screened and selections made; The selectee’s respective departments are notified.

Selected applicants are told to bring the Course Fees along with them when registering for the course. In the instant case, a sum of Rs. 20,000/- was required for admission.

The applicant approached his Department Head for the Registration Fees. He was told to make the payment; that it would be reimbursed to him before completion of the course. Apparently, the requisition would have to be processed by Accounting Dept., and others. It would “take some time” for the reimbursement checks to be issued…

So, the applicant proceeds to register at the Academy and submits a personal check for Rs. 20,000/-.

He is informed that only cash or an official check from his Department is accepted.

While he is wrangling about payment protocol, he notices another candidate registering for the same course at the table beside his. A similar interchange occurs, “We only accept cash payment …”. So, this other person pays Rs. 20,000/- in cash. His name is duly registered for the course.

But when he requests a receipt for his payment, he is told, “ … the authorizing officer is absent at this time; but rest assured, your receipt will be duly delivered to you shortly …” .

IT NEVER IS!! And there’s no way the Mark could apply for reimbursement from his Department even though attendance in the course is proof enough that he paid Rs. 20,000/-.

As for our stalwart hero who refused to pay cash absent proof of payment, he succumbed to an adverse transfer for making waves!!

So what happens to all that loot (i.e., undocumented Registration Fees from thousands of successful applicants every year)? One can only speculate; and don’t even think for a moment the higher ups are naïve about this practice. Some may see it as yet another enterprising enterprise inherent in our enterprising police system – and everyone is happy including the now certified Mark, his boss, bosses’ boss, etcetera, etcetera …. Jai Hind!

Crooked CopsCopyright 2014. All Rights Reserved. Carlisle Collins – Havepenwillwrite




April 20, 2012

There once was a cop with an itch,
and pimples of puss on his lil’ prick.
He’d scratch it in public, in private, in secret,
And stuff any orifice that’d fit!

Below is an online comment from M. EVR Reddy (email address withheld per his/her request) which their local newspaper The Deccan Chronicle decided to spike (i.e., not to publish). He (she?) was commenting on the Link below:

I decided to publish it as a new post and edited in supporting Links. See what you make of it …

Carlisle Collins.


I came across your site and this ludicrous flattery of Assistant Commissioner of Police (ACP) E. Shankar Reddy surfing the net. You’ve done a fine job sweeping the achievements of the other honoured awardees under your hero’s carpet while exclusively showcasing his. In fact, your readership would be led to believe your idol is part of the elite progeny of the Indian Police (dis)Service cadre when he is just another run-‘o-the-mill public servant who cajoled, bullied, and butt-kissed his way (almost) to the top – from Zero to Hero – a legend in his own mind. The article reads like a promotional ad. – paid by (who else?) DCP E. Shankar Reddy known for blowing his own trumpet!

You mention Shankar’s “investigative role” in the Emaar and Raheja cases as a vigilance officer. These cases are still under investigation; OBJECTIVE, litigatory investigation, I might add! I have serious reservations about him “unearthing” SIMI terrorist activities. SIMI activities have been “unearthed” (whatever THAT means!) a long, long time ago by others. Our hero is lapping up their credit and basking in their glory.

In fact Additional Commissioner of Police AMIT GARG, IPS, known best for towing the traditional police line of “Where there’s no evidence, fabricate evidence …”, beat Shankar Anna to the punch! Garg categorically lied before a tribunal that a certain member of the Muslim community (an engineering student, 22-year-old Moutasim Billah of Hyderabad) was a SIMI member. Yet Garg, under solemn oath, admitted having no personal knowledge of the case and was deposing entirely from documents given him by various “investigating” officers. But, none of these documents (except Garg’s) accused Billah of SIMI membership! “Oops! F**k ‘em if they can’t take a joke …!”

Apparently, our Desi Police are required to excel in a mandatory course on chicanery at the Academy supplemented by On-Job-Training specializing in circumventing legislated procedural requirements pertaining to surveillance, investigation, interrogation, seizing (fabricating?) evidence, selecting witnesses, authoring a Charge Sheet, etcetera, etcetera … From what one learns from the media, certain select high rank officers are continuing to follow the exemplary precedents set by their predecessors and peers.

So, what do we, as concerned, intellectual paraplegics, do about these shocking police practices? WE PROMOTE THESE SHYSTERS INTO HIGHER POSITIONS OF AUTHORITY AND “RESPONSIBILITY”!

And this will continue merrily along until our tolerant courts view police/prosecutorial perjury as tantamount to defecating on the bench. But waiddaminute! What if the Judge beats ‘em to the punch and takes a healthy dump on his own bench? After all, he is the undisputed proprietor, is empowered with Priority Rights, and has quicker access to the Commode of Justice …

Well … fact is, such allegations have been flashing in media headlines every now and then, so it’s really no ball-busting news – until of late! Presiding Judge T. Pattabhirama Rao (of the Court of the Central Bureau of Investigation) and his cronies became celebrities overnight. Seems like His Honour sold his honour for around Rs. 15 crores (approx. US $300,000). Just goes to show, “Money talks; bullshit walks”, and every harlot has her price …

Justice T. Pattabhirama Rao: Technically speaking, it’s really not “bribery”; look at it as a tax-exempt contribution to The Judges Retirement Fund. (Mine!!).

Good Lord! Whatever happened to the likes of the Late M.V. THOMAS, IPS, former Director General of Police (AP)? Seems like he represented a rotten example of the Indian Police Service’s failures and an embarrassment to the IPS Fraternity: You see, M.V THOMAS was a breed apart! He was an honest cop; a spiritual man, a family man, a true pillar of the community, and straight as an arrow, persevering against backdoor incentives and punitive political pressure knowing full well that one Day he will stand before his Creator and account for the power his position had entrusted him with! Such pity that values such as ‘honour’ and ‘integrity,’ which the police uniform represents, cannot be taught; it is acquired from birth and cultivated throughout your growing years! Yet here, in Mother India, one doesn’t even pay a passing glance at scumbags urinating on it!  Rest In Peace, Mr. Thomas, my dear friend. God Bless You! I am proud to have known you.

As for Shankar the Magician discovering “a huge cache of explosives”, I would take this with a grain of salt. Our police are notorious for creative exaggerations! Remember the bomb blast of Mecca Masjid in May 2007, and other unnerving explosions prancing merrily under the nostrils of our enterprising police? The (then) Director General of Police (DGP) MA BASITH, IPS described them as “sophisticated” “anti-personnel” bombs (do we know of any bombs that are PRO-Personnel?!) with “sophisticated” detonation mechanism hitherto unfamiliar to Hyderabad. The public learned shortly thereafter that they were simple, homemade “pipe bombs” triggered by a mobile ‘phone call. I could go on and on, but I wouldn’t want you to become nauseated and puke on your computer ….

Shankar Reddy Dada’s “other cases, where he played a KEY ROLE include investigating the Raheja scam, Emaar scam, the subsidized seed scam, the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams Aarjitha Seva ticket cases and other Value Added Tax evasion cases, involving loss of revenue estimated at Rs 2,500 crore.” I wonder what percentage ended up the Chain of Command … Sorry! Just thinking out loud …

Now, there just might be some truth to this claim: You see, there’s an old adage, “Set a thief to catch a thief”, which in Desi Police work stands somewhat modified to read, “Set a scam artist to catch a scam artist”! Anyone having firsthand knowledge of Shankar Dada and his land acquisition scams, “protection rackets”, “mamul” income, and assorted under the table inducements for doctoring his “investigations” throughout his 20-plus years of muscle flexing in the choicest, most sought after, lucrative, most revenue-generating police Sectors of Hyderabad, (viz. Banjara Hills, Jubilie Hills, Punjagutta) will agree that our hero is in a league of his own – and “in” with those who truly matter – all the way up to the Honourable Chief Minister’s office and the State’s DGP, [who (i.e., Dinesh Pedd’anna), by the way, is attempting to fend off allegations of gross corruption as we speak – and also  some state of the art Black Magic– an integral component in the Continuum of Force available in our Law Enforcement arsenal!!].

DGP Dinesh Reddy_Tactical Assault

Word is, our swashbuckling ACP, Mandrake The Magician, is under “investigation” himself; A job delegated to the City CID, no doubt! Something about waving his magic pen at a homicide and, voila, transforming it into suicide, disproportionate assets, and the like? But that goes with the territory, nes’pa? I wouldn’t hold my breath for any disposition at all … definitely not by any State run agency! So, when one privately wonders “Why” such coveted Presidential award for this particular joker; we don’t dare probe any further …grapvine

Honors upon honors; glory upon glory; recognition upon recognition …. One begins to doubt the veracity of the adage, “What goes around, comes around”! So, what divine plan would shield a person – any person – who, under color of the law, it is alleged, has undeservedly and/or for private gain destroyed many, many lives, reputations, families, and who bears the curses of his fallen victims upon him?

One can only speculate that, on the one hand, there’s transparency, a measure of “honesty”, and a reciprocal back-scratching understanding  within the “Inner Circle”: “mamul” (the loot) from the source goes all the way up the Chain of Command unobstructed by (excessive) greed. On the other hand, the dude is charismatic; even mesmerizing (but then, so is a striking cobra).

Giving “the devil his due”, from what one hears from reliable sources, the man is known in some groups for being charitable and philanthropic – toward a chosen few, no doubt, but generous nevertheless. This doesn’t necessarily mean altruistic and self-sacrificing, but displays a tendency to share the “spoils of war”.

F’rinstance, a group of beggars, blind panhandlers would assemble in the parking lot of the B.H. Police Station waiting for Robin Hood to arrive. Alternatively, the police dispatcher would radio the roving hawk that his patrons are awaiting his illustrious presence. The story goes, he would leave whatever mischief he was up to (or down to …?) and attend to each blind person individually in private. There are accounts of his benevolent involvement in other events,Gratitude e.g., financing marriage of girls from poor families, sponsoring kids thru’ school and college, giving handouts to the needy, and so on … But, it must be remembered that these beneficiaries are not even potential sources of big-time revenue by any stretch of (an opportunistic)imagination, and moneys spent is just a teenie weenie fraction of the loot but a venerable publicity tool.

So, what other possible explanation exists for Our Man’s immunity from the Laws of Karmic Reciprocity, the Law of Cause and Effect? I’ll be damned if I know! Maybe he’s amassed trillions in the Karma Bank and can afford to squander through a few transgressions. Maybe his “expenditures” are disproportionately miniscule to his assets. Maybe his time hasn’t come. Maybe the concept of Karma is total fiction. Maybe we also should anoint our nefarious gains (if any) with a dab of pseudo benevolence so hypocrisy could make a grand  entrance cloaked with public adoration. Maybe I should down another shot of Whiskey …

rainbow-barWe’re all familiar with the phrase, “beware of the Long Hand of the Law …” but, here it seems, the higher a Police Officer’s rank, the longer the reach of his zipper-busting, thigh-splitting, pile-driving pecker! The media commode is clogged with the pong of allegations of police impropriety especially associated with damsels in distress: “If in  trouble, gratify the cop and your troubles will lighten … If you want revenge, gratify the cop and he will make your victim’s life a living hell …”.

The Exploring DickAccording to reliable sources, Pussy Power is alive and well in police stations satiating satyriasis of epidemic  proportions.

“Look, Mommy! No hands …!!”

But this seems to be an accepted norm within the Khaki Fraternity, sort of like an acquired swelling commensurate with the job.So, when (IF) media attention is aroused and an internal, closed-door“investigation” should uncover some truth to such allegations of indiscriminate hypersexuality, the “erring” officer is transferred to a different fertile Sector to continue sowing wild oats with only a notional wrist-slapping – maybe.

Latest Hemorrhoid-popping Police Smut News: Superintendent of Police S. Syamsundar, IPSwas shifted following allegations that he had developed more than a professional relationship with a woman while (Ahem!) “handling” her complaint. Jeez …! More than 200-plus ‘phone calls at odd hours of the night, eh? Man, you must be the patient, “considerate” sort they want to take home to meet Mommy; the kind of flunkey you read about in Cosmo Magazine. Unfortunately, you’ll never hit it off big with the chicks, Sam. Take it from me, Bro, you gotta’ be a super sly, selfish bastard to get their undivided attention and sample the goodies …! Don’t you think that’s enough talk for a lifetime? Just tell the broad, “Foreplay is over, Byatch! It’s time to f**k …”. Practice improvising on Shank’s simple but foolproof MO (see below) that flips broads over belly-up at the sound of  the zipper unfastening  … That’s right, Champ! Bring out that “inner” Slime Ball in you ‘cos “gentlemen” don’t stand a fair chance at gettin’ lucky in the meat market. You’ll see results. Guaranteed! And to hell with what the media says. They’re a bunch of dickless, self-righteous hypocrites whichever way you look! 😉

Bass kar, Yar! We all do it … or thought about doing it … maybe, WILL someday ….! So what’s the big deal, Huh? The media will be media, and cops will be cops – So, f**k ’em if they can’t take a joke!!”

When creating husbands, God promised women that loyal and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made the Earth round!!

Our Presidential Police Medalist’s latest notch on his starched Khaki Lingam is vilified actress-cum-madamme Tara Chowdary, according to her tearful judicial declaration. Seems like Lord Shiva’s gift to women in custody, viz. our horny hero ACP Shankar the Stud, resorted to his sure-fire, time-tested method of enchanting vulnerable women: He had her beaten into submission at the police station. Her facial bruises on YouTube seem to corroborate with her story. Adding insult to injury, the media reported that Banjara Hills Inspector M. Sudarshan and his boss (our role model, Testosteronic Shankar) seized more than ninety, hard earned, secretly recorded DVD disks of VIP’s, honourable legislators, honourable members of the cabinet, power-wielding Police Administrators, and other blue-balled moneyed clients caught with their pants down/dhotis off while exercising their libidos on Tara’s versatile callipygian staff.

Tara Choudhry - Victim of Khaki Dick-Slapping?

Tara Chowdary_Roped_GropedThe media could not reach Shankar, our pryiapic role model, until days later when he (predictably) refuted the allegations and dismissed them as “baseless”. “Tara has had a grudge against me for a long time, but I did my duty,” he quipped.  So, since how long has Shankar the Shank “known” Tara and of her meat marketing enterprise? Why didn’t he “do his duty” back then? Or perhaps he DID “do his duty” but never paid for the merchandise. Hmmm … That could explain the grudge, right? RIGHT!!

According to Police, these DVD’s were Tara’s “insurance policy” to keep the “respectable pillars of our community” from squealing if things got sour. Ironically, until a few weeks ago, our Khaki Goons would provide discrete police escort to Tara when visiting select VIP’s. According to Tara, the cops are now doing some high level blackmailing of their very own with the seized DVD’s. So, you see, CRIME PAYS!Never underestimate the creative ingenuity of our Desi cops! Jai Hind!


© Copyright 2012. Carlisle Collins. Havepenwillwrite. All Rights Reserved.


December 15, 2008



(Popular saying amongst dirty cops doing a dirty job).


For quite some time now, there has been a conspiracy unfolding from within the “Khaki Fraternity” that has manifested in the establishment of a sinister, alternate system of enforcing Law and civic order: An underground Bohemian system tangential from conventional, customary practices prescribed by governing Law.

This is a visible state of affairs but its working mechanism is enshrouded and jealously guarded. Or, at best, never formally admitted to for fear of breaking a sacred, secret trust. Nevertheless, this disparate system of administering and enforcing public order has seized for itself a pivotal sphere of influence over Indian society claiming exemption from the confines of the Constitution.

Despite all the textbook statutory safeguards in place, one quickly realizes these to be notional, toothless and cowering in the shadows for they are routinely circumvented with impunity. But is this not to be expected when you let the fox guard the chicken? If perchance there ensues a major brouhaha and trenchant, conscientious journalism, a tiny, select sampling of police criminals may be held to answer — a nominal showing to appease the gullible citizenry and the shocked World community.

manhole-01-june1But simultaneously at work are invisible hands of policy-influencing powerhouses that control the political and administrative machinery of our government, which render clandestine support to these, their “fallen comrades” …. and reprisal for “interfering”. Rajnish Rai, a Dy. Inspector General in the State Crime Records Bureau, instrumental in the arrest of suspended IPS officers D.G. Vansara and Rajkumar Pandian (a la Sohrabuddin Fake Encounter Case) was declared as having failed all subjects in his LL.B. (Law) exam. Rai was found “guilty” on the basis of University Rule that prohibits during exams any writings on a foot-ruler (even graffiti by Rai’s 4-yr old son, which has no relevance to Law or the exam). See Link

Arbitrariness and favoritism in personnel practices has promoted criminalization within the police and given rise to anganster-01-june1 exclusive, fearsome breed of power-drunk psycho cops. It often becomes difficult to distinguish between the cop and his alter ego, the gangster. Likewise, being left unbridled, it becomes just as difficult (actually, cumbersome) for such cops to walk the straight and narrow line.


Extrajudicial methods of “policing”, particularly “encounter” killings, have proliferated as a viable and expeditious solution to a broad spectrum of both official and private nuisances.

assault1The sordid details characterizing such incidents rarely come to light; if they do, it’s only a tiny “flash in the pan”, soon to be forgotten. And the practice continues on unabated with renewed gusto (and greater secrecy) encouraged by public apathy.

Such murders, by a magical stroke of the Police pen, are anointed, by the trusting judiciary’s rubber stamp, with a cloak of legitimacy and subsequently referred to as Police response to unprovoked, armed “encounters”.

Case in point: The abduction and vendetta killing of extortionist Sohrabuddin Sheikh on November 26, 2005 by the Gujarat Anti-Terrorist Squad. He was later fraudulently labeled a member of the militant Lashkar-e-Taiba. Shortly thereafter, they murdered his wife Kauserbi and an uninvolved traveling companion torching and disposing them so as to purge evidence. See Link:

Several senior police officers from different states, including Gujarat, Rajasthan and Andhra Pradesh, as well as high placed politicians are suspected to be involved in the murders. So far only three ranking IPS officers have been arrested: Border Range DIG (Dy. Inspector General of Police) D.G. Vanjhara, Superintendent (Operations) Raj Kumar Pandian, and Superintendent M.N. Dinesh. This is merely the tip of the iceberg.

zombie-risingAs the investigation unfolds, we are told that D.G. Vanzara was paid to kill Sohrabuddin Sheikh by Rajasthan’s influential marble lobby! Vanzara was himself moonlighting, running a successful extortion racket staffed by Rajkumar Pandiyan, KM Vaghela, GL Singhal and other policemen. Sources in victimized families indicated Vanzara and his associates would, for a consideration, release criminals accused even of serious crimes, including murder, when the right price was paid to Vanzara’s syndicate.

One of the accused in the Sohrabuddin murders, Gujarat Asst. Commissioner Narendra Kumar Amin had visited Hyderabad on Nov. 1, 2004 to arrest and extradite Moulana Naseeruddin who was wanted in Gujarat. A group of protesters at the State’s DGP’s Office were dealt with indiscriminate gun fire from Narendra Kumar that killed 20-year-old Mujahid Salim Islahi. A murder case (No. 883/04) was registered against Narendra Kumar Amin at the Saifabad police station. The then ACP Jagan Mohan Reddy claims to have “investigated” the case, but it was not pursued very far for reasons best known to people who really know the reasons!


As expected, the court-ordered investigation into the arg-devil-sm-url1Sohrabuddin Fake “Encounter” Case is up against obstacles from within the Chain of Command. The DIG of CID (Crimes) Rajneesh Rai, assigned to investigate the murder was served written directives from the Gujarat State Director General P.C. Pande that strategically limits his investigatory powers and effectively stymies any prospect of a truthful disposition and its disclosure to the public. Mr. Rai “should seek prior permission from higher-ups, including himself, while taking major decisions in the matter including arrest, permission for forensic tests, searches, future line of investigations and custodial interrogations.” Link:

The notoriety generated by the Sohrabuddin incident is naughty-lil-girlencouraging families of several other suspected “encounter” victims to come forth with petitions for court-ordered investigations. It’ll be interesting to see how these are disposed with.

There are serious allegations of involvement of the Andhra Pradesh State Police and its collusion with the Gujarat State agency in effecting the extra judicial killing of the three suspects. The official A.P. State position to allegations of conspiracy is a straight faced denial. A.P. State DGP M.A. Basith (thankfully retired since then) indicated that it certainly is normal practice for police of one State to assist colleagues from another State in criminal investigations and intelligence dissemination. But in this particular case, Basith emphatically denied any such interaction occurring. . He indicated further, that if the requesting Agency were to misuse any information – assistance offered, the Host Agency (i.e., A.P. State Police) would be guiltless. [Hypothetically, quite correct. Unless both sister Agencies were of single purpose].

Since the final phase of trailing the suspects, their capture, and abduction to Vilasrao’s murder retreat commenced in Hyderabad, surely the A.P. State Police were aware of visiting Task Force personnel from another State being lodged in Police Officers Mess in Hyderabad? Yet no one questioned, “Why” or exchanged any pertinent information relative to a critical mission of official visitors from an allied Police Agency?



Naturally, one wonders why, in this specific case, the “normal practice” of information/intelligence sharing between State Agencies was curiously disregarded especially in view of the fact that information was obviously available and the Gujarat police team responsible for the murders, utilized Hyderabad as a transitory Base of Operations.

Could it be that the public is being deliberately protected from Truth? Could it be that the sobering Truth, Folks, relates to matters much bigger than some two-bit racketeers being bumped off by other two-bit uniform wearing racketeers. The Truth is frightfully evident in this saga: There exists an animate, visible, ruthless, powerful, self-gratifying system of governance that has turned predator on the very populace that created it in the first place. Our apathy created it; now our continued apathy nurtures it. The irony is that it has, by and large, gained a conspicuous foothold amongst the masses.

But, for just one imaginary moment, let’s shelve our antiquated value system and standard of justice defined by the Constitution; Let’s flirt with some treasonous “outside the Box” thinking, and ponder on the merits of radical, extra-conventional resolutions to the complexities inherent in a purportedly democratic society such as ours:

The observant among us will recognize that government-anointed extra judicial death squads are certainly a viable law enforcement tool in a variety of troubling situations. For one thing, they represent a serious threat to dissent and mercifully spare the already overburdened jail and court systems from further strain. One notable “troubling situation” under decisive control, which comes immediately to mind, is the almost smothered Naxallite presence in Andhra Pradesh State thanks to the judicious utilization of the extra judicial “encounter” remedy. Do we see any likelihood of it being officially established as a versatile tonic to redress a wide range of time-sensitive social maladies at some point in future?


It would be interesting to learn whether this “law” enforcement strategy is being applied indiscriminately, as a generic, instant “Fix” for the community’s radicals or reserved exclusively for the chosen few? Just how frequently are our protectors resorting to this measure? And how much longer for our anonymous, masked crusaders to step out from the shadows flaunting that crisp black uniform, the silver Swastika and Iron Cross?


© Carlisle Collins. GOOD COP – BAD COP. 2009 – 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Citizen Apathy Nurtures Corrupt Governance

June 28, 2008


Corruption is certainly not unique to India.It exists all over the world and spews a distinct, characteristic, easily recognizable odor. But whereas elsewhere, hidden in isolated “pockets”, it becomes “Breaking News” when discovered, here, in our beloved Bharat, Corruption doesn’t have to be discovered because it is not hidden. It is vociferously “Res ipsa loquitur” everywhere: so rampant that its “discovery” is rarely a newsworthy event! And if, due to availability of some “filler space”, it finds itself in print, the self-righteous accusatory finger points exclusively to the individual perpetrator rather than also the vicarious accomplices merrily flourishing in this prevalent environment of putrefied morals that threatens to represent our National ethos.

Most everyone including Police agree that the Police establishment is CRITICALLY in need of a deep cleansing enema. There are a zillion articles, thesis, studies, and other offerings on the web, from good-intentioned “experts” as well as lay people, on police corruption; and just as varied suggestions on remedies. But, as the record shows, these writings will no doubt continue to remain nothing more than of marginal academic interest because, like it or not, Corruption has become an integral part of the Indian cultural fabric like Garam Masala and coconut hair oil. In fact, some would consider any REAL attempt to root it out as unpatriotic – even treasonous!

History stands in testament to the sad fact that, in real life, no amount of theory or “text-book” solutions could unclog the constipating impediment to our ancestral value system once revered worldwide. You see, “How To” books, encyclopedias, universities, PoliceAcademies, etc. just do not possess the wherewithal to teach ethics, integrity, and fundamental value expectations amounting to inter-personal decency one learns at home. Either you still have it or you’ve flushed it down the commode.

Most homes use (or purport to use) the “Old School” approach to lying: It is a punishable offense. One learns very quickly you need several lies to support the first lie – and, when (not IF) your lie is discovered, the gravity of punishment increases proportionately. We endeavor to teach our children so and, reciprocally, set a like standard in our own personal dealings with others lest we appear as hypocrites.

“LIAR” IS AN EUPHEMISM FOR “THIEF”; in fact, the Liar is THE LOWEST BREED OF THIEF: he steals your trust, your confidence, yourGood Intentions respect, and, undeservedly, claims for himself an honored place in society. When most have to earn that status through a lengthy, proven track record, some are anointed into that position, transformed as if magically by that Police uniform! The uniform, however, has become nothing more than a deceptive placard declaring, “I am worthy of your trust, and this uniform says so”; but the widespread farcical “investigations” and creative police reports belie that claim.


Is there any redress when such officious lies stand repeatedly exposed as during the course of the numerous criminal trials throughout our nation (India)? Has there been any occasion our anointed Liars In Uniform were ever taken to task? Or does the stench of perjury, more so by a public official, prompt no more cognizance than if it were just another mundane post-digestive gaseous extrusion ceremoniously emitted in court; certainly irritating but, acceptable; it being mercifully, transitory (unlike the lingering, overbearing, asphyxiating pong of officious corruption)!

It is certainly a disgraceful showing whenever perjury from the Prosecution is accepted as commonplace and overlooked by the courts. One wonders, therefore, what standard the judiciary conforms itself to; and whether, by this “tolerant” stance, the courts have, in effect, condoned and given judicial recognition to a universally unsanctioned Police privilege, viz. to taint judicial proceedings and impede the course of justice by lying with impunity? When police and/or prosecutors conceal significant exculpatory or impeaching material, who should we ordinarily hold incumbent to set the record straight?

There still might be some judges around who view perjury as a criminal act that impedes the discovery of truth; an act contemptuous toward the judicial process itself. When courts take a stand against such pandemic lies and see it as tantamount to defecation on the Bench, they will send a clear message to other prospective opportunists (especially the uniform-wearing variety) that there’s a heavy price to pay for clogging up our already clogged court system with bogus or exaggerated claims that promote opportunism!Why? Why? Why?

Is lying ever justified when someone’s freedom, reputation, livelihood depends upon Truth? If the courts are not the last bastion for Truth, then is the Indian Criminal “Justice” System indeed a sham as the world community purports it to be?

See Link:


Does our younger generation deserve to inherit this carious legacy? Do we privately give a damn whether they do or don’t?

© Copyright 2010 – Carlisle Collins – All Rights Reserved

The Grand Illusionist: The Ayatolla of Dhoo’kay-Wallaz!

June 23, 2008


Although admirable and demonstrative of certain potential, ( Amit Garg’s chicanery is child play compared to the sophisticated, anesthetizing, mind-coitus credited to the veteran Ustaad-oun-ka-Ustaad, the Guru of gurus, M.A. BASITH, IPS.

Observe the grand maestro at his befuddling best …

THE MECCA MASJID FARCE (or “How I Chuthya-Maro’ed The Public”):

As is so often the case with Majority Rule and covert partisan politics, the minority community is humored by the appointment of a member of their group as a (figurehead) person in authority. Such seems to be the case with M.A. Basith (purportedly Muslim) and Balwinder Singh (orthodox Sikh), respectively the Andhra Pradesh State Director General of Police and Hyderabad City Commissioner of Police.

The local Urdu media lapped up ’s Basith’s appointment like orphan puppies slurping up spilt milk (of Magnesia?). No matter how trivial the event, there would be at least a few lines about Basith almost every week, and if we were really (un)fortunate, there might even be a little photograph. They must have been really hard up for news knowing fully well that our Superhero has a reputation of being an Uncle Tom; a “Yes Boss”-Man lapping away on whichever side the bread is buttered, and of never having interceded in matters relative to a fellow Muslim’s victimization or provided any official support to bullied communities in the past! To be impartial and neutral, doesn’t require one be insensitive and detached. But this might explain his meteoric rise to No. 1 cop of the State.

Hence, on May 18, 2007, during commencement of the Friday congregational prayers (Muslim Sabbath), a bomb rocked the historical Mecca Masjid known to accommodate the largest number of devotees. There were several injuries and deaths. This shocked Muslims all over the world.

Adding insult to injury, indignant yelps from local protesters and leaders saw Police firing indiscriminately into the crowd at point blanc range killing five youths and injuring several others including those that were retreating! In typical concurrence with Maoist philosophy on power over the masses, Basith responded with barbaric dadagiri suppressing dissent through use of deadly force. Power flows from the barrel of a gun“! (Mao Tse-tung).

You can always count on puppet Director Generals and their henchmen to facilitate martyrdom while amassing Brownie Points.

Basith tagged the line that the bombs were “sophisticated” (common cast iron pipes containing explosives!) with “sophisticated” triggering mechanism (a simple call via cell ‘phone!). “That capacity is not available in Hyderabad so far”! Amazing! So we are still using drums and smoke signals to communicate …

As expected, the appearance of “police check posts” immediately followed in just about every major street in the “upscale” part of the City, and just about every ally in the in the predominantly Muslim slums. No doubt our industrious police were looking for villains carrying sophisticated cast iron pipes and sophisticated cell phones! Wonderful! But these Check Posts turned out to be yet another creative extortion racket to put the squeeze on motorists, autowallas, 2-wheeler riders, other vehicle operators even unlucky pedestrians caught in the net! You can always count on our cops to be resourceful during difficult times.

A week or so later, the coup de grace: Basith pulls a turbaned rabbit out of the hat! Outstanding! Our vigilant Police have the stooge culprit in custody: some miserable low life schmuck who happens to be Muslim! Slick move!

Any prospect of communal tension fizzles out. Tempers come to a dead end blocked by a giant red question mark: “Certainly no Muslim would commit this heinous act”! But that’s irrelevant now. Congratulations are in order …. More media hype on Basith (and even more little photos!) ….. and a couple of weeks later, we’re dealt a classic “Basith Head-Scratcher”: A perplexed, open mouthed public is notified of a cash reward from the Police for any information leading to the suspect(s)! Now, a year later, the suspect’s identity is still a mystery and Hyderabad continues to maintain its prime ranking as the testing ground for improvised explosive prototypes.

What a crying shame: All that brown-nosing by the Urdu media was in vain! “ Basith Bhai! Tu kya zabardust gaaf-mei-haath diya, Yar! It hurts when we try to sit down”!

Around the same period, during Basith’s bedazzling leadership, the city is plagued by a series of scattered bomb blasts in public places. Many casualties. Many deaths. Predicting a righteous public outcry demanding his hide, Basith, a seasoned veteran survivor of public scrutiny, not to be outdone, cons media support and, one fine morning, proceeds to do a tactical Self-Defense number on the thoroughly perplexed Sardarji-Commissioner blaming him for security lapses as though the “buck” stops at the Commissioner! Commissioner Balwinder, who only recently transferred to his new assignment in Hyderabad, hardly had time to unpack let alone make an independent assessment of the comical public safety situation prevalent throughout Basith’s administration. Little did the straight forward Balwinderji realize at the time that he had been served a combo Gugli-Bumper Special, the insidious “Basith Head-Scratcher cum Pagadi Shaker“, a special treat reserved for special people and special occasions.

But setting aside the community’s mistaken belief of “Sadar Pahelwaan Basith” championing the cause of underdogs, the rightful expectation of an aggressive, professional, visible public safety program or, at the minimum, an honest, good-faith endeavor at launching such, vanished in smoke leaving behind a clear message that the impotent public could grab their ankles and take it in their rear. And with head upside down panning between parted legs, venture to acquire a sharper perspective of what’s REALLY happening to them: To wit, no official inquiry into security protocol violations by police personnel stationed at the entrance to the mosque during Friday Prayers, no prosecution for unnecessary use of deadly force on unarmed demonstrators by the on-site armed police personnel, no official disposition of any inquiry into the several bomb blasts in Hyderabad, no administrative or criminal sanctions for misfeasance, malfeasance, nonfeasance by officials entrusted with our safety, and no showing of any lasting interest in the matter by our chosen legislators.

It is ironic that our leadership promises “transparent, accountable governance”, but the only thing transparent here is the cheap lappam concealing the cracks in accountability. This just strengthens one’s conviction that protest is futile and we are such a tolerant, vanquished people. Subsequently, as expected of our fickle memories, the matter fades off into oblivion, and, mercifully, so does Basith with his retirement!

Now, who in his right mind can say that the IPS generates a legion of clowns?

Basith surrenders his effeminate powder blue Seat of Power.

SSP Yadav being cautious of Basith’s final prank:            The insidious Whoppie Cushion.


RED ROSES?! Doesn’t that symbolize non-platonic love? Hey… What’s going on, Guys …?

© Copyright 2010 – Carlisle Collins – All Rights Reserved

Deception And Other Neat Hoaxes (In the public’s interest?)

June 23, 2008


Officials caught lying, had been lying for years skillfully evading detection by the public. The liar becomes increasingly talented and confident in his capacity to deceive. He typically invents justification for his lies, often believing them to be righteous. He may see himself as being in a privileged clique on a private agenda and a value system far superior and sharply tangential from mainstream society’s. Such officials set a nefarious policy expectation up and down the chain of command. As for being censured or suspended for “Conduct unbecoming of a police officer”, are you kidding? This IS conduct one has come to expect from our Police!

The Indian Police (dis)Service, on occasion, has been known to defecate some choice sampling of morally putrid progeny on the unwary public. Most Police-initiated crimes go unreported; they are simply shrugged off as “the way we do business”. Nothing really newsworthy about it! The incident below was reported only because a fellow journalist was on the receiving end. Here’s the link to The Times of India:,prtpage-1.cms

Scandal begins when the police attempt to put a stop to it! As the (then) Deputy Commissioner of Police, Amit Garg lied to the Home Minister and falsified Police Reports to substantiate his lies. He was retained in the Field a couple more years most likely tofurther hone his skills and recently transferred to the IPS Academy on a promotion as Deputy Inspector General, why else but so his exemplary professional conduct in the Field could be emulated by new generations of IPS officers! Some “Damage Control” by the Powers That Be! Jai Hind! But for the few true patriots struggling from “fox holes” to re-establish National integrity, fundamental values, and plural polity of secular, democratic India, this certainly sets a frightening precedence.

Arbitrariness and favoritism in personnel practices has promoted criminalization within the police, extrajudicial methods of “policing”. Extra judicial killings has proliferated and is privately recognized as a viable and expeditious solution to a broad spectrum of both official and private nuisances. Such murders, by a magical stroke of the Police pen, are anointed with a cloak of legitimacy by the trusting judiciary’s rubber stamp and subsequently referred to as Police response to unprovoked, armed “encounters”.

Administration’s unabated practice of empowering public servants with wide leverage to ventilate their personal, racist prejudices upon a minority community’s religious mandates might be interpreted as blatant criminal complicity tantamount to propagating Hate Crimes under color of Law. Below is just one such pictorial reminder of Power gone amok.

There is no ambiguity in this “writing on the wall”. The message is clear: One can sense the impending resurgence of yet other sequels to the infamous Gujarat carnage in strategic parts of the country by recognizing and assessing the present climate. The Gujarat incident was not a spontaneous upsurge of mass anger. It was a carefully planned, organized and professionally executed pogrom facilitated by active connivance of the state police and administrative machinery, and there is still no redress and no guarantees of it not occurring in future. (Reflections on the Gujarat massacre by Harsh Mander, IAS. Also check out details at

AND SO WHAT! As a practical matter, if IPS were to mold Fresh Talent possessing integrity, uprightness, honesty, etc., etc., and all the other “goody, goody” traits stereotypical of fictional Utopian characters, there would remain no one we could call upon to maintain our enviable, unconscionable record of genocide and human rights violations against Sikhs, Muslims and other minorities. Ce n’est pas vrai?

The question here is not what kind of government policy is legitimate, but how legitimacy is made to manifest in the context of public approval and acceptance. So much for safeguarding our constitutional principles of equity and secularism at one time held so dear among us Indians! Or perhaps we can’t see the light because we’re being blinded by the spray: Maybe dancing under the golden shower of our learned Leaders is actually good for us, AND WE DON’T KNOW IT JUST YET BECAUSE WE ARE YET TO EVOLVE TO THAT HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS!

We’re still scratching our heads over that one!

Our young IPS aspirants certainly stand to learn a lot from our mercurial hero. One can but pray it won’t reflect the dominant sleazy side of his talents. (“Mercurial”? Hmmm … Wasn’t Mercury, the winged messenger of the Greek gods, known to be a compulsive liar and trickster?). Here’s the link:

And when the Un-credible Incredible AMIT GARG, IPS is challenged by the Press, quick like a bunny with remarkable, practiced unctuousness and enviable verbal jugglery, he daintily fox-trots his challengers into a corner blaming his victims for “misinterpreting” his directives “request”. “Misinterpreting”? Wah-ray-Wah, Challu Cheeze!! Were his formal orders in Latin, Sanskrit, or Braille to have been “misinterpreted”? “The best defensive maneuver is a good tactical counter offense”. Smooth move, Dude!

… and the dude DOES move smooth: one reads of his tentacular presence in almost every lucrative orifice: Land disputes, Strong-arming (‘Dadagiri’), Obstructing Justice with straight face lies to Tribunals, Falsifying Police Reports ….   One wonders whether such qualities are considered pre-requisites for admission to the IPS cadre or are they acquired through long hours of shady coursework at the Academy? See Links:

This guy’s gotta be the life of parties! It’s not too difficult to guess exactly which Party? At the time of this writing, it is rumored that our maverick swashbuckler is being groomed for more prominent undertakings commensurate with his demonstrated talents, viz. the City Crime Branch, and onward to Commissioner, possibly even State Director General and the Ivory Throne of CBI within reasonable reach. “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” – Laurence J. Peter.

P.S. Don’t forget your friends, Pal. And please forget your critics!

© Copyright 2010 – Carlisle Collins – All Rights Reserved

An Open Letter To S.S.P. Yadav, IPS – Director General and Inspector General of Police

April 27, 2008

OPEN LETTER TO Shayam Sunder Prasad Yadav, IPS

Director General and Inspector General of Police,Government of Andhra Pradesh State,Hyderabad

Dear DGP Shayam Sunder Saheb:

On behalf of the publication “Good Cop – Bad Cop” operating as a Blog under auspices of, please accept our hearty congratulations on your recent appointment. It is an obvious show of faith in you that the CM preferred you over your two older colleagues.

We have been following your career over the years silently observing your influence on the State Anti-Corruption Bureau as Director – a Herculean undertaking! Your work nevertheless reflects vision and a promise of efficacy provided others following in your wake prove competent and dedicated to carry on this most honorable mission.

Corruption is the antithesis of everything Law Enforcement stands for. Yet it is no secret that Corruption and the Indian Police are synonymous. Other visionaries preceding you had like-minded ideals, to integrate the element of integrity and sound practices in the Indian police mission. But they stood vulnerable to buckling up under political pressure. You are just one single person spearheading the challenge of dealing with a corrupt establishment. But rest assured, within this cesspool of decadence there are other like minded people with old-fashioned values silently laboring at reviving that shine and shoveling the stubbornly adhering contamination toward its rightful destination: the commode! Even dishonest cops fear honest cops.

There’s an old Arab proverb: “An army of sheep led by one lion would defeat an army of lions led by one sheep”. Of course it’s meant to be inspirational but doesn’t make any practical sense because only an army of brain-fried sheep would follow behind a lion (maybe!), and for a hundred salivating lions to be following one fluffy sheep into battle wouldn’t even be worth the meager morsel ahead.

Nevertheless, I think you get my drift!

There are leaders and there are Leaders … Then again, there are Leaders with BALLS! We are depending on you to be the latter. You have three solid years ahead of you to make a difference, and we are rooting for you!

Our Mission is very similar: “ … high quality and transparent policing that satisfies the aspirations of the people and the society at large in creating and maintaining a State in which there is peace, co-existence and order, so as to provide a conducive environment for sustained prosperity ….”, even though our methods toward realizing our common objective may have some differences: you thru’ established protocol and personnel policies (which hasn’t worked well enough so far), and we, that run the Blog, thru’ constructive criticism and good journalism (which isn’t enough!).

We realize you’ve just barely taken over a giant organization and inherited your predecessor’s giant headaches. But count your blessings, Sir. Because the community’s headaches at the ‘mercy’ of your Police is a far cry from yours. We would like you to see us as the “pulse of the community”. We at the Blog are duty bound to convey public sentiments relative to the organization you accepted responsibility for, and we expect you to take a very personal interest in those elements within the Ranks set to tarnish your uniform.

Please feel free to comment or indicate any area of dissent. “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism”. One humble request, if you please: Just make sure it is truthful, made in good faith, and relevant. We shall be happy to make appropriate changes if warranted and/or include your verbatim response.

Again: Congratulations, Good Luck, and God Bless …


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