Yahoo India quoted “CIA sources” that “’Obsessed’ bin Laden was plotting to assassinate Obama during 2012 US elections

(London, May 13(ANI):  ANI – Sat, May 14, 2011)

Amidst the usual bullshit that would have difficulty in making a believer of a 5th Grade Dropout, the CIA apparently uncovered some “extraordinary details” from the “enormous cache of intelligence” seized from allegedly Ben’s compound in Abbottabad; more importantly, videographed evidence of his “disgust” at Obama’s image on TV – so he’d flip the channel to something more appealing – any freaking thing, but Obama; like, maybe, the mayhem in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Libya, Somalia, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, secret CIA prisons, the arrests and seizure of documents of American war protestors …. You know …Fun things like that! Too bad they don’t show porn on Pakistan TV ….

Obviously the old coot was reacting defensively to symptoms of “Boogeyman Phobia”.  Remember? As kids, we’re told, “Close your eyes and he will disappear; flip the Channel and …..” you’ll really flip him off! And it did!

We’re told the US government’s newly released videos (May 7, 2011) are online. Funny thing is, they do not show Bin Laden at all! Strange … and “Bin Laden’s” compound is now also very conveniently scheduled for total destruction! Isn’t there a law against tampering with evidence? Ooh! But that was in the “Good ol’ Days” …

OK, so “Bin Laden’s” killing was justifiable homicide, sorta’ like a precautionary self-defense move: “Do unto others before they do unto you!” After all, we’re talking about a megalomaniac responsible for the death of thousands of innocent people; men women, children, bovines, poultry, domestic pets, shemales, transvestites, fellow citizens ….  NO! NO! Not George Bush and his cronies; nor Uncle Tommy el Presidente! We’re talking OSAMA!! Now STAY FOCUSED, WILL YA?!

Precautionary self-defense! Yup!! Likely story … Sufficient justification to kill an unarmed, old man watching TV, a women, and others, right in front of a 12 year old child – absent due process and the Rule of Law!! And then dump the evidence (WHAT EVIDENCE??!!) in the ocean – per “Islamic Rites”, of course! And Medal of Honor for the bravest that peed on the corpse first before the Celebrated Adieu – a la Islam!

Ahh… those Bedroom Eyes, Champagne Sandals, and Traffic-Stopping Packaging – gesturing minimum size preference! Too bad I don’t qualify …

President Lincoln once said, “You can fool some people all the time …” which apparently mushroomed into US National Policy, “ and these are the morons to be worked on …!” Come on! Surely el Presidente Odumbo can come up with a more credible line than painting a picture of “Self Defense – Revenge – Clear and Present Danger” that would put Pablo Picasso to shame?

They must be visualizing us with hand-rolled Beedis tucked behind our ear like illiterate, ignorant villagers feeling for boogers in our nostrils. Maybe that’s what we truly ARE! We feed on whatever the partisan media defecates upon us.

I recall Benazir Bhutto (RIP) stating publicly that Osama died years ago; that it was critical for the US to keep their people in fear of “Public Enemy #1”! Not that Benazir was any more credible than the other jokers, but you know what they say about “deathbed confessions …” (and a sacrilegious waste of godawesome meat! Sigh …).

Now, who’s in the running to fill that vacant position? Amrika needs a new Boogyman! How else can they unite their bankrupt, moronic citizenry into indignation and aggression, eh? Word is, China is tops on the list for “Human Rights Violations” – like the kettle calling the lamp “Black”! Besides, with 2 TRILLION Dollars in debt to China, ” … ya really think I’m juss gonna fork over the ducats when the little Chinaman comes to collect?? Ya gotta be shittin’ me, Holms!

POPULAR LIBYAN DICTATOR Muammar Gaddafi, also known as “DA COLONEL”, is towed by highly trained (and nervous) Traffic- Buster musclemen. Bravely kicking caution to the curb while rolling merrily along the back streets of Benghazi yelling, “Wheee … Come on! Faster … Faster …” in a state of the art, bullet proof, bomb-proof, people-proof, highly maneuverable Presidential golf cart he borrowed from his grand kid, Da Colonel was overheard announcing “Da Beeplez Loves me – ALL da Beebolz – day fill die for me …” as he waved around the pink Carnation he picked up at a discount store earlier. NOTE: KFC denies any connection between Muammar and their Trade Mark white bearded, Confederate-looking Chicken Boner whether or not their private fetishes may betray similarities ….

Remember the several stand-in doubles Fidel Castro recruited to impersonate himself fearing assassination? Saddam was ponying up on the same stratagem; so are many other “world leaders” fearing incontinence!

It didn’t work for Saddam, though!  Saddam was arrested and tried in court publicly; a kangaroo court, but a court, nevertheless. WE SAW HIM DIE!! So, who was this unfortunate stooge the brave Navy Seals murdered and caused to vanish?

Heck! Stick a fake, white beard on my ugly mug and I could pass for Ben! NO, WAIT!! On second thought: DON’T! I might be honored by a nocturnal visit from the brave Navy Seals while I’m switching channels on my rinky-dink TV. I’m too young to die and too damned ugly to be sodomized and end up as fish food!

Now juss waidamawfokinminute heah, Pilgrim”, you say! “Where there’s no victim, there’s no crime!” Case Dismissed!

OK! So if the “real” Osama is dead, there’s no longer any justification for US presence in Afghanistan/Pakistan/Iraq. Isn’t that why they went there in the first place searching for Ben? Right? WRONG! Just give their think tanks some time to come up with a reason to flex muscle in China, Russia, Pak., India, Libya, Iran, Tajikistan, …. but Hate has to be mobilized first, before Washington can move the masses of intellectual paraplegic patriots to war. No big deal …. Been there! Done that!

There’s a new “Defense Authorization Bill” on the Senate Floor to be voted on next month: It will give ANY US President blanket, unfettered powers to single-handedly use military force whenever he/she sees fit. It would “lawfully” involve US in even more military  conflicts without clear enemies, geographic boundaries, or any specific objectives to be achieved.

This “Bin Laden” façade is just the tip of the iceberg of more misery to come! And more BS justifying it!

Actually, justification is not really necessary with an ignoramus citizenship around. All that’s needed is a Commander in Chief with an industrial-size hard-on and desire to stick it deep in the country, any country of his liking, look ‘em in the eyes and whisper, “Better be liking it, Byatch!

But isn’t it customary to kiss ‘em first?Weelll … Consider yourself kissed, Peckerwood! Now be a good boy, drop your shorts, and grab your ankles ‘cos Big Daddy can’t wait no longer ….!

Bush in the bush!



Washington, June 18 (ANI): US District Court judge Lewis Kaplan issued an order officially dismissing all criminal charges against Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden following his death in a military raid on his “hideout” in Pakistan. The Order, ‘nolle prosequi’, in Latin means ‘do not prosecute’: A logical move since the “Defendant” either died years ago or was recently processed into gourmet fish food (Burp!) and cannot appear in court to defend himself. B’sides, we wouldn’t want to implicate the REAL culprits, do we?

OK! So what does all this mean in practical terms to us intellectual paraplegics? That (the REAL) bin Laden wasn’t factually involved in all this terrorism mish mash? That the price of acquittal for allegedly heinous crimes is the murder of an anonymous old fart flipping channels on a rinky-dink TV in a rundown dump in Abbotabad? Specifically, WHO filed the Quash Petition or was the decision suo moto? What was the justification for dismissal? Was the justification just or just one of those “turn the other (butt) cheek” and let bygones be bygones in true Christian spirit?  Do US Taxpayers get a rebatefor financing wars against alleged terrorists who were to be acquitted anyway? Will the World Economy release their ankle-grabbing grip and rinse off the hemorrhoid-popping US refuse from our derrières? Do they serve US sausages in Pakistan; if so, where do they stick ‘em? Is there REALLY a Santa Claus and does he cum only once a year? Is there a Mrs. Claus or is Santa comfy just with his elves  …. So many unanswered

questions and even more gullible idiots waiting for a halfway credible answer …. The Saga continues …

It’s Good To Be King …

Someone ought’a make a movie outta this entire dog poop: a comedy! (Mel Brooks! Can you hear me?).

COPYRIGHT Carlisle Collins 2011. All Rights Reserved.


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