SIGISMUND SCHLOMO FREUD (or “Schlong”, “Dick Head”, for short): 6 May 1856 – 23 September 1939
Most of us don’t remember Sigmund; perhaps because we really don’t care to remember him. Or perhaps because most of us weren’t around in 1856 when this revered icon of modern Shrink-ology and proponent of Cocaine, theories of infantile masturbation, incest, and other eyebrow-raising fantasies popped into existence.
It was a simple, un-complicated world back then: women didn’t have Conversion Disorders, weren’t Bi-polar, Schizophrenic, Manic-Depressive, etc., etc. They were simply oversexed, hysterical, crazy – and a hellofalot easier to deal with!
Freud is long dead but obviously his legacy lives on thru’ a legion of mind-f***ed hypothesists searching for a nonexistent black cat in a dark room; nevertheless, a gallant endeavor at warped research of the mind (or, research of the warped mind) that some may equate to charlatanism.
F’rinstance, a Freudian study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. If she is ovulating, she is attracted to a man with rugged masculine features. And if she is menstruating, she is more inclined toward a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire. Further studies are expected. Mercy!
I gotta admit, though, anyone that believes the world and all the planets revolve around a massive penis, is A-OK in my books!
So, here’s to the GRANDPAPPY OF LUNACY – Affectionately referred to in some circles as “Asshole”:
“EEE! WHASSUP DOC?”
Copyright 2011 – Carlisle Collins – All Rights Reserved