ACP E. SHANKAR REDDY – PRESIDENT’S MEDAL FOR MERITORIOUS POLICE “WORK”.

There once was a cop with an itch,
and pimples of puss on his lil’ prick.
He’d scratch it in public, in private, in secret,
And stuff any orifice that’d fit!

Below is an online comment from M. EVR Reddy (email address withheld per his/her request) which their local newspaper The Deccan Chronicle decided to spike

(i.e., not to publish). He (she?) was commenting on the Link below:

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/cities/hyderabad/president%E2%80%99s-medal-cops-000

I decided to publish it as a new post and edited in supporting Links. See what you make of it …

Carlisle Collins.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I came across your site and this ludicrous flattery of Assistant Commissioner of Police (ACP) E. Shankar Reddy surfing the net. You’ve done a fine job sweeping the achievements of the other honoured awardees under our hero’s carpet while exclusively showcasing his. In fact, your readership would be led to believe your idol is part of the elite progeny of the Indian Police (dis)Service cadre when he is just another run-‘o-the-mill public servant who cajoled, bullied, and butt-kissed his way (almost) to the top – from Zero to Hero – a legend in his own mind. The article reads like a promotional ad. – paid by (who else?) DCP E. Shankar Reddy known for blowing his own trumpet!

You mention Shankar’s “investigative role” in the Emaar and Raheja cases as a vigilance officer. These cases are still under investigation; OBJECTIVE, litigatory investigation, I might add! I have serious reservations about him “unearthing” SIMI terrorist activities. SIMI activities have been “unearthed” (whatever THAT means!) a long, long time ago by others. Our hero is lapping up their credit and basking in their glory.

In fact Additional Commissioner of Police AMIT GARG, IPS, known best for towing the traditional police line of “Where there’s no evidence, fabricate evidence …”, beat Shankar Anna to the punch! Garg categorically lied before a tribunal that a certain member of the Muslim community (an engineering student, 22-year-old Moutasim Billah of Hyderabad) was a SIMI member. Yet Garg, under solemn oath, admitted having no personal knowledge of the case and was deposing entirely from documents given him by various “investigating” officers. But, none of these documents (except Garg’s) accused Billah of SIMI membership! “Oops! F**k ‘em if they can’t take a joke …!”

Apparently, our Desi Police are required to excel in a mandatory course on chicanery at the Academy supplemented by On-Job-Training specializing in circumventing legislated procedural requirements pertaining to surveillance, investigation, interrogation, seizing (fabricating?) evidence, selecting witnesses, authoring a Charge Sheet, etcetera, etcetera … From what one learns from the media, certain select high rank officers are continuing to follow the exemplary precedents set by their predecessors and peers.

So, what do we, as concerned, intellectual paraplegics, do about these shocking police practices? WE PROMOTE THESE SHYSTERS INTO HIGHER POSITIONS OF AUTHORITY AND “RESPONSIBILITY”! And this will continue merrily along until our tolerant courts view police/prosecutorial perjury as tantamount to defecating on the bench.

Good Lord! Whatever happened to the likes of the Late M.V. THOMAS, IPS, former Director General of Police (AP)? Seems like he represented a rotten example of the Indian Police Service’s failures and an embarrassment to the IPS Fraternity: You see, M.V THOMAS was a breed apart! He was an honest cop; a spiritual man, a family man, a true pillar of the community, and straight as an arrow, persevering against backdoor incentives and punitive political pressure knowing full well that one Day he will stand before his Creator and account for the power his position had entrusted him with! Such pity that values such as ‘honour’ and ‘integrity,’ which the police uniform represents, cannot be taught; it is acquired from birth and cultivated throughout your growing years! Yet here, in Mother India, one doesn’t even pay a passing glance at scumbags urinating on it!  Rest In Peace, Mr. Thomas, my dear friend. God Bless You! I am proud to have known you.

As for Shankar the Magician discovering “a huge cache of explosives”, I would take this with a grain of salt. Our police are notorious for creative exaggerations! Remember the bomb blast of Mecca Masjid in May 2007, and other unnerving explosions prancing merrily under the nostrils of our enterprising police? The (then) Director General of Police (DGP) MA BASITH, IPS described them as “sophisticated” “anti-personnel” bombs (do we know of any bombs that are PRO-Personnel?!) with “sophisticated” detonation mechanism hitherto unfamiliar to Hyderabad. The public learned shortly thereafter that they were simple, homemade “pipe bombs” triggered by a mobile ‘phone call. I could go on and on, but I wouldn’t want you to become nauseated and puke on your computer ….

Shankar Reddy Dada’s “other cases, where he played a KEY ROLE include investigating the Raheja scam, Emaar scam, the subsidized seed scam, the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams Aarjitha Seva ticket cases and other Value Added Tax evasion cases, involving loss of revenue estimated at Rs 2,500 crore.” I wonder what percentage ended up the Chain of Command … Sorry! Just thinking out loud …

Now, there just might be some truth to this claim: You see, there’s an old adage, “Set a thief to catch a thief”, which in Desi Police work stands somewhat modified to read, “Set a scam artist to catch a scam artist”! Anyone having firsthand knowledge of Shankar Dada and his land acquisition scams, “protection rackets”, “mamul” income, and assorted under the table inducements for doctoring his “investigations” throughout his 20-plus years of muscle flexing in the choicest, most sought after, lucrative, most revenue-generating police Sectors of Hyderabad, (viz. Banjara Hills, Jubilie Hills, Punjagutta) will agree that our hero is in a league of his own – and “in” with those who matter – all the way up to the Honourable Chief Minister’s office and the State’s DGP, [who (i.e., Dinesh Pedd'anna), by the way, is attempting to fend off allegations of gross corruption as we speak]. One privately wonders “Why” such coveted Presidential award for this particular joker; but doesn’t dare probe any further … 

We all are familiar with the phrase, “beware of the Long Hand of the Law …” but, here it seems, the higher a Police Officer’s rank, the longer the reach of his zipper-busting, thigh-splitting, pile-driving pecker! The media commode is clogged with the pong of allegations of police impropriety especially associated with damsels in distress: “If in trouble, gratify the cop and your troubles will lighten … If you want revenge, gratify the cop and he will make your victim’s life a living hell …”.  According to reliable sources, Pussy Power is alive and well in police stations satiating satyriasis of epidemic  proportions. But this seems to be an accepted norm within the Khaki Fraternity, sort of like an acquired swelling commensurate with the job. So, when (IF) media attention is aroused and an internal, closed-door “investigation” should uncover some truth to such allegations of indiscriminate hypersexuality, the “erring” officer is transferred to a different fertile Sector to continue sowing wild oats with only a notional wrist-slapping – maybe.

Latest Hemorrhoid-popping Police Smut News: Superintendent of Police S. Syamsundar, IPSwas shifted following allegations that he had developed more than a professional relationship with a woman while (Ahem!) “handling” her complaint. Jeez …! More than 200-plus ‘phone calls at odd hours of the night, eh? Man, you must be the patient, “considerate” sort they want to take home to meet Mommy; the kind of flunkey you read about in Cosmo Magazine. Unfortunately, you’ll never hit it off big with the chicks, Sam. Take it from me, Bro, you gotta’ be a super sly, selfish bastard to get their undivided attention and sample the goodies …! Don’t you think that’s enough talk for a lifetime? Just tell the broad, “Foreplay is over, Byatch! It’s time to f**k …”. Practice improvising on Shank’s foolproof MO that flips broads over belly-up at the sound of  the zipper unfastening  … That’s right, Champ! Bring out that “inner” Slime Ball in you ‘cos “gentlemen” don’t stand a fair chance at gettin’ lucky in the meat market. You’ll see results. Guaranteed! And to hell with what the media says. They’re a bunch of dickless, self-righteous hypocrites whichever way you look!

“Bass kar, Yar! We all do it … or thought about doing it … maybe, WILL someday ….! So what’s the big deal, Huh? The media will be media, and cops will be cops – So, f**k ‘em if they can’t take a joke!!”

When creating husbands, God promised women that loyal and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made the Earth round!!

Our Presidential Police Medalist’s latest notch on his starched Khaki Lingam is vilified actress-cum-madamme Tara Chowdhry, according to her tearful judicial declaration. Seems like Lord Shiva’s gift to women in custody, viz. our horny hero ACP Shankar the Stud, resorted to his sure-fire, time-tested method of enchanting vulnerable women: He had her beaten into submission at the police station. Her facial bruises on YouTube seem to corroborate with her story. Adding insult to injury, the media reported that Banjara Hills Inspector M. Sudarshan and his boss (our role model, Testosteronic Shankar) seized more than ninety, hard earned, secretly recorded DVD disks of VIP’s, honourable legislators, honourable members of the cabinet, power-wielding Police Administrators, and other blue-balled moneyed clients caught with their pants down/dhotis off while exercising their libidos on Tara’s versatile callipygian staff.

The media could not reach Shankar, our pryiapic role model, until days later when he (predictably) refuted the allegations and dismissed them as “baseless”. “Tara has had a grudge against me for a long time, but I did my duty,” he quipped.  So, since how long has Shankar the Shank “known” Tara and of her meat marketing enterprise? Why didn’t he “do his duty” back then? Or perhaps he DID “do his duty” but never paid for the merchandise. Hmmm … That could explain the grudge, right? RIGHT!!

According to Police, these DVD’s were Tara’s “insurance policy” to keep the “respectable pillars of our community” from squealing if things got sour. Ironically, until a few weeks ago, our Khaki Goons would provide discrete police escort to Tara when visiting select VIP’s. According to Tara, the cops are now doing some high level blackmailing of their very own with the seized DVD’s. So, you see, CRIME PAYS!Never underestimate the creative ingenuity of our Desi cops! Jai Hind!

ANY VIP WISHING TO PRESS CHARGES AGAINST TARA OR THE POLICE, PLEASE COME FORWARD!

© Copyright 2012. Carlisle Collins. Havepenwillwrite. All Rights Reserved.

OSAMA BEN LAID’N – DUMPED: NO REST FOR THE WICKED!

Yahoo India quoted “CIA sources” that “’Obsessed’ bin Laden was plotting to assassinate Obama during 2012 US elections

(London, May 13(ANI):  ANI – Sat, May 14, 2011)

Amidst the usual bullshit that would have difficulty in making a believer of a 5^th Grade Dropout, the CIA apparently uncovered some “extraordinary details” from the “enormous cache of intelligence” seized from allegedly Ben’s compound in Abbottabad; more importantly, videographed evidence of his “disgust” at Obama’s image on TV – so he’d flip the channel to something more appealing – any freaking thing, but Obama; like, maybe, the mayhem in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Libya, Somalia, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, secret CIA prisons, the arrests and seizure of documents of American war protestors …. You know …Fun things like that! Too bad they don’t show porn on Pakistan TV ….

Obviously the old coot was reacting defensively to symptoms of “Boogeyman Phobia”.  Remember? As kids, we’re told, “Close your eyes and he will disappear; flip the Channel and …..” you’ll really flip him off! And it did!

We’re told the US government’s newly released videos (May 7, 2011) are online. Funny thing is, they do not show Bin Laden at all! Strange … and “Bin Laden’s” compound is now also very conveniently scheduled for total destruction! Isn’t there a law against tampering with evidence? Ooh! But that was in the “Good ol’ Days” …

OK, so “Bin Laden’s” killing was justifiable homicide, sorta’ like a precautionary self-defense move: “Do unto others before they do unto you!” After all, we’re talking about a megalomaniac responsible for the death of thousands of innocent people; men women, children, bovines, poultry, domestic pets, shemales, transvestites, fellow citizens ….  NO! NO! Not George Bush and his cronies; nor Uncle Tommy el Presidente! We’re talking OSAMA!! Now STAY FOCUSED, WILL YA?!

Precautionary self-defense! Yup!! Likely story … Sufficient justification to kill an unarmed, old man watching TV, a women, and others, right in front of a 12 year old child – absent due process and the Rule of Law!! And then dump the evidence (WHAT EVIDENCE??!!) in the ocean – per “Islamic Rites”, of course! And Medal of Honor for the bravest that peed on the corpse first before the Celebrated Adieu – a la Islam!

Ahh… those Bedroom Eyes, Champagne Sandals, and Traffic-Stopping Packaging – gesturing minimum size preference! Too bad I don’t qualify …

President Lincoln once said, “You can fool some people all the time …” which apparently mushroomed into US National Policy, “ … and these are the morons to be worked on …!” Come on! Surely el Presidente Odumbo can come up with a more credible line than painting a picture of “Self Defense – Revenge – Clear and Present Danger” that would put Pablo Picasso to shame?

They must be visualizing us with hand-rolled Beedis tucked behind our ear like illiterate, ignorant villagers feeling for boogers in our nostrils. Maybe that’s what we truly ARE! We feed on whatever the partisan media defecates upon us.

I recall Benazir Bhutto (RIP) stating publicly that Osama died years ago; that it was critical for the US to keep their people in fear of “Public Enemy #1”! Not that Benazir was any more credible than the other jokers, but you know what they say about “deathbed confessions …” (and a sacrilegious waste of godawesome meat! Sigh …).

Now, who’s in the running to fill that vacant position? Amrika needs a new Boogyman! How else can they unite their bankrupt, moronic citizenry into indignation and aggression, eh? Word is, China is tops on the list for “Human Rights Violations” – like the kettle calling the lamp “Black”! Besides, with 2 TRILLION Dollars in debt to China, ” … ya really think I’m juss gonna fork over the ducats when the little Chinaman comes to collect?? Ya gotta be shittin’ me, Holms!“

POPULAR LIBYAN DICTATOR Muammar Gaddafi, also known as “DA COLONEL”, is towed by highly trained (and nervous) Traffic- Buster musclemen. Bravely kicking caution to the curb while rolling merrily along the back streets of Benghazi yelling, “Wheee … Come on! Faster … Faster …” in a state of the art, bullet proof, bomb-proof, people-proof, highly maneuverable Presidential golf cart he borrowed from his grand kid, Da Colonel was overheard announcing “Da Beeplez Loves me – ALL da Beebolz – day fill die for me …” as he waved around the pink Carnation he picked up at a discount store earlier. NOTE: KFC denies any connection between Muammar and their Trade Mark white bearded, Confederate-looking Chicken Boner whether or not their private fetishes may betray similarities ….

Remember the several stand-in doubles Fidel Castro recruited to impersonate himself fearing assassination? Saddam was ponying up on the same stratagem; so are many other “world leaders” fearing incontinence!

It didn’t work for Saddam, though!  Saddam was arrested and tried in court publicly; a kangaroo court, but a court, nevertheless. WE SAW HIM DIE!! So, who was this unfortunate stooge the brave Navy Seals murdered and caused to vanish?

Heck! Stick a fake, white beard on my ugly mug and I could pass for Ben! NO, WAIT!! On second thought: DON’T! I might be honored by a nocturnal visit from the brave Navy Seals while I’m switching channels on my rinky-dink TV. I’m too young to die and too damned ugly to be sodomized and end up as fish food!

“Now juss waidamawfokinminute heah, Pilgrim”, you say! “Where there’s no victim, there’s no crime!” Case Dismissed!

OK! So if the “real” Osama is dead, there’s no longer any justification for US presence in Afghanistan/Pakistan/Iraq. Isn’t that why they went there in the first place searching for Ben? Right? WRONG! Just give their think tanks some time to come up with a reason to flex muscle in China, Russia, Pak., India, Libya, Iran, Tajikistan, …. but Hate has to be mobilized first, before Washington can move the masses of intellectual paraplegic patriots to war. No big deal …. Been there! Done that!

There’s a new “Defense Authorization Bill” on the Senate Floor to be voted on next month: It will give ANY US President blanket, unfettered powers to single-handedly use military force whenever he/she sees fit. It would “lawfully” involve US in even more military  conflicts without clear enemies, geographic boundaries, or any specific objectives to be achieved.

This “Bin Laden” façade is just the tip of the iceberg of more misery to come! And more BS justifying it!

Actually, justification is not really necessary with an ignoramus citizenship around. All that’s needed is a Commander in Chief with an industrial-size hard-on and desire to stick it deep in the country, any country of his liking, look ‘em in the eyes and whisper, “Better be liking it, Byatch!”

But isn’t it customary to kiss ‘em first? “Weelll … Consider yourself kissed, Peckerwood! Now be a good boy, drop your shorts, and grab your ankles ‘cos Big Daddy can’t wait no longer ….!”

Bush in the bush!

 

BALL-BUSTING NEWS FROM THE WHADDAFUDGE BROADCUSSING NUTWORK:

Washington, June 18 (ANI): US District Court judge Lewis Kaplan issued an order officially dismissing all criminal charges against Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden following his death in a military raid on his “hideout” in Pakistan. The Order, ‘nolle prosequi’, in Latin means ‘do not prosecute’: A logical move since the “Defendant” either died years ago or was recently processed into gourmet fish food (Burp!) and cannot appear in court to defend himself. B’sides, we wouldn’t want to implicate the REAL culprits, do we?

OK! So what does all this mean in practical terms to us intellectual paraplegics? That (the REAL) bin Laden wasn’t factually involved in all this terrorism mish mash? That the price of acquittal for allegedly heinous crimes is the murder of an anonymous old fart flipping channels on a rinky-dink TV in a rundown dump in Abbotabad? Specifically, WHO filed the Quash Petition or was the decision suo moto? What was the justification for dismissal? Was the justification just or just one of those “turn the other (butt) cheek” and let bygones be bygones in true Christian spirit?  Do US Taxpayers get a rebatefor financing wars against alleged terrorists who were to be acquitted anyway? Will the World Economy release their ankle-grabbing grip and rinse off the hemorrhoid-popping US refuse from our derrières? Do they serve US sausages in Pakistan; if so, where do they stick ‘em? Is there REALLY a Santa Claus and does he cum only once a year? Is there a Mrs. Claus or is Santa comfy just with his elves  …. So many unanswered

questions and even more gullible idiots waiting for a halfway credible answer …. The Saga continues …

It’s Good To Be King …

Someone ought’a make a movie outta this entire dog poop: a comedy! (Mel Brooks! Can you hear me?).

COPYRIGHT Carlisle Collins 2011. All Rights Reserved.